Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am pleased to announce that Mr. Nathan Alberson is back at his old antics with a new blog. That's right, you can once again read a blog that surpasses the interestingness of mine and the oddity too. In fact, this may be the most odd and interesting blog in the blogsphere... but you don't have to take my word for it!
Back at it again...
Ben Affleck Hoping Jason Bourne Has Sidekick In Next Movie
Another great one from the onion...
LOS ANGELES—Actor Ben Affleck, best known for his role in the 2003 film Daredevil, told reporters Monday he would really like to see action hero Jason Bourne, played by longtime friend Matt Damon, acquire a sidekick in his next film.
"I was thinking that the character, who would probably be Bourne's childhood friend, could really breathe some new life into the series," said Affleck, adding that the Jason Bourne character ran the risk of boring American audiences if the superspy wasn't allowed to show a more human side in his films. "I envision the sidekick as being taller, slightly beefier, and having darker hair than Bourne. He may not be the smartest, but he could provide comic relief and would always look out for his best friend."
"I know a few people who would play the part," the Jersey Girl and Gigli star continued. "Hell, even I would put some projects aside to do it if that's what the producers wanted." [read on]
Destruction Of National Pastime Given Two-Minute Standing Ovation
I was gonna post this on the family blog, but I though Matt might get mad, so it's here instead: from the onion.
SAN FRANCISCO—A sellout crowd rose to its feet and exploded into ecstatic cheers Tuesday night as Barry Bonds completed the downfall of America's most revered sport by hitting a thundering 435-foot shot into the left field bleachers for career home run No. 756 and tainting baseball's most beloved record.
Celebrations broke out throughout AT&T Park and thousands of flashbulbs went off as Bonds took his ceremonial trip around the bases, his arms raised in a jubilant gesture of triumph as he completed his desecration of baseball. Fireworks filled the night sky to mark the utter destruction of the national pastime, a scramble for the infamous baseball broke out in the stands, and the game was interrupted for 10 minutes in the bottom of the fifth to mark the shameful occasion.
Mike Bacsik, the pitcher who made the difficult and admirable decision to pitch to Bonds as if he were a normal player, and who will forever be known as the man whose fastball was sent out of the park along with the last remnant of baseball's self-respect, could only watch. Bonds would later present Bacsik with an autographed bat.
Moments after Bonds crossed home plate into the loving arms of his family and the eventual judgment of history, he addressed the fans, thanking them for their support on his long, hard road of perverting baseball.
"Thank you very much. I got to thank all of you, all the fans here in San Francisco. It's been fantastic," he said to his deluded and complicit home crowd as his godfather Willie Mays, a fading symbol of what baseball once was, stood at his side.
As soon as Bonds completed his self-congratulation, a self-conscious gasp could be heard as a videotaped message from Hank Aaron was played over the video screen, sending surprise and a fleeting moment of uncomfortable self-awareness through both the crowd and Bonds himself.
"Throughout the past century, the home run has held a special place in baseball and I have been privileged to hold this record for 33 of those years," said Aaron, whose legacy of persevering with profound personal dignity through racism and persecution to become the all-time home run leader will hopefully not be tarnished by public acknowledgment of Bonds.
"I move over now and offer my best wishes to Barry and his family on this historic achievement," Aaron concluded, displaying infinitely more grace than Bonds, baseball fans, and perhaps even baseball itself had any right to ask of him.
Bonds then presented his helmet, gloves, and bat to a steward of the Baseball Hall of Fame for shipment to Cooperstown, where they will be enshrined forever, allowing fathers and sons to come and stare at them glumly as they bear mute witness to baseball's diminished glory.
The Nationals won the game, 8-6.
The Legend of Robert Johnson
Delta blues legend Robert Johnson is one of the greatest singer/songwriters to ever live. It's hard to tell you what song or album to listen to since it could take a sampleing of his entire catalog to find out how great he is. That's why I recommend the Robert Johnson Complete Recordings (from Colombia Records).
Thomas Johnson (Tommy from O, Brother Where Art Thou) once claimed the Robert Johnson had sold his soul to the Devil at a crossroads. In turn the Devil took Robert's guitar, tuned it, and showed him how to play (the same story Tommy attributes to himself in the film).
Some of my favorite covers of Robert Johnson songs include "Went Down to the Crossroads" by Eric Clapton off his Unplugged album and "Hot Tamales" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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