Napoleon (Part One)

Napoleon Bonaparte was born on August 15, 1769 in Ajaccio on the Mediterranean island of Corsica. Through his military exploits and his ruthless efficiency, Napoleon rose from obscurity to become Napoleon I, Empereur des Francais (Emperor of the French). He is both a historical figure and a legend—and it is sometimes difficult to separate the two. The events of his life fired the imaginations of great writers, film makers, and playwrights whose works have done much to create the Napoleonic legend. [view source]

Napoleon Dynamite on the other hand is nowhere near that interesting. He is a curly-haired loser from Idaho who gets picked on, beat up, and taken advantage of by nearly everyone else in the film. Don't worry though, this is no Columbine tale, this kid simply roles with the punches, making friends where he can, finding solace in his "skills" and causing more uproarous laughter than any other film in recorded history. What makes this film conenct with so many people is that everyone is someone in this film. You may be the 32 year old brother, Kip, who still lives at home and spends all his time "online chatting with babes", or Rex, sensi at Rex-kwan-do, or the mullet-dawning grandmother, or uncle Rico, or Padro, or any of the other charactors. The point is that you are someone. Everyone who I have talked to who doesn't like the film is too much like one of the charactors to find it funny, everyone else who is just kind of like someone loves the movie.

If you haven't seen it, watch it with someone who knows all the lines... it will make it so much better.

My Rating: 10/10 - This is quickly becoming my most watched DVD (the soundtrack sucks!)

Kingdom of Heaven

"From the Director of Gladiator" reads the trailer page on Apple's web site for the Kingdom of Heaven. I immedietly start racking by brain trying to remember who directed gladiator, then something hits me... this doesn't say directed by the director of gladiator...does that mean it is like Hero being "from Quintin Tino" where he had nothing to do with the making of the movie, he simply slapped his name on it? I sure hope not. No... this thing is legit! Who is that guy, that guy is Ridley Scott. This guy has a cult following thanks to movies like Blade Runner and Legend and he is known as the king of the modern movie epic (sorry guy who directed Troy, your film sucked).

The trailer for KoH looks really cool, but it also looks like a remake of Gladiator (but now I find that unlikely because the remake of Gladiator is coming out sometime next year [click here]...great! we'll talk about that one later). This looks like it might be a well executed film combining what we all loved about Gladiator with what we all thought Troy was going to be (I really hope no one got what they were expecting out of Troy). Even the whole, blue-tinted winter scenes look like out-takes from Gladiator 1. So my big question about this one is: why is the princess lying with an ashen white face next to an ax head? Is she dead...is this Braveheart or something? Or, I guess more likely, is this Romeo and Juliet?

My Rating: 9/10 - Unless this ends up like Troy (which I doubt) then it would get the boot rating of -10!

Ice Princess

There should be a rule about casting one person in the same roll more than a-finnity times... however what's-her-face keeps getting cast as a retarded klutz. I was actually forced (at gunpoint) to watch the Princess Diaries (yes the whole thing!!) and have still not compleetly recovered my manly-ness. This one will surely be a hit with the pre-teen, klutz, wanna-be ice skaters middle-class suburbian crowd (though, how that demographic keeps getting movies made for it leads one to wonder, "are these kids loaded or what?")

My Rating: 2/10 - I know, you're thinking "how can this not get a 1/10?" Truth be told, I am just waiting for a worse movie to roll around...and trust me, it will come, and I predict that it will have a couple of kids rescuing their secret-agent parents from Pee-wee herman's henchmen .... in 3D!!!

Cinderella Man

Okay, so I'll admit, when I first read the title for this film I was like "what the..." thinking it was another Cinder-fella movie. It's not, and it looks okay, but I already know the whole story. James Braddock (Russle Crowe, I never know if there is an "e" at the end of crow) is a star boxer who gets old, and loses to many fights... everyone deserts him except his loving wife, the chick from Chicago. Soon he finds him self struggling to survive, life on the docks is hard, so he returns to boxing, this time with a mission.... to WIN. And so he does, unless it's like rocky in which case this film will suck. I think this film is meant to be though of as a Raging Bull or The Hurricane, not some Chuck Norris flick.

My Rating: 7/10 - I almost gave it a six, but has Crow(e) ever let us down in the past? ...not that I know of... and this one has some big names backing it. Let's get ready to rumble.

Sin City

What's this one about... I'm guessing it's about 2 and a half hours of weird fun. Its the combo movie everyone has been looking for... a mix of Dick Tracy, Hell Boy and that Bruce Willis space movie that everyone for some reason has seen (the 5th Elem.) I'm not saying this will be a bad movie, though it may get anoying to be watching a black-and-white film with such harsh contrast... the look is cool, but I just hope they don't over-do it. I'm most excited about Dwight (played by Clive Owen from the BMW short films)... oh yeah, and Frodo Wood also makes an appearance as the mysterious halfling.

I'll give it 6/10 with possibly a cult status.

Movie Pre-Reviews

I have been online looking for all the information that I can get about upcoming movies like King Kong, Indiana Jones 4, and the Hobbit, but there is really very little information, and what I do find I have no way of knowing if it's legit or not. So from now on I have a new order of business for this blog. I am going to seek out all the newest previews of upcoming films and write some short blurb (simmilar to a blog) about them... I also hope to get my movie-loving brothers to help me out a bit. Stay tuned.

Furby Autopsy

What in the world? I'm sure you have done the same thing that I have done to find this site. All I was doing was some casual surfing online, and ran across this... I website telling us how to properly skin and disect a Furby! I know this is a little outdated... people would have loved this site 5 or 6 years ago when the stupid things were all over the place, but check this out. The greatest part is the hacking section where it tells you how to reprogram your lovable Furby... just what I always wanted to do.